Lawyer Quickies

Q - What do you do if you run over a lawyer?  
A -  Back over him to make sure. Then, make another notch on the steering wheel.

Q - How many lawyers does it take to roof a house? 
A - Depends on how thin you slice them.

Q - Why won't sharks attack lawyers? 
A - Professional courtesy.

Q - How do you stop a lawyer from drowning? 
A -  Shoot him before he hits the water.

Q - Have you heard about the lawyers word processor? 
A - No matter what font you select, everything comes out in fine print.

Q - How do you know when your divorce is getting ugly?
A - When your lawyer doesn't seem like a bloodsucking leech anymore.

Q - What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech?
A -  A leech will let go and drop off when its victim dies.

Q - What's the difference between a baseball player and a lawyer? 
A -  In baseball, if you're caught stealing, you're out.

Q - How many defense attorneys does it take to change a light bulb?
A -  How many can you afford?

Q - What do you call an honest lawyer? 
A - An impossibility.

Q - What is black and white and looks good on a Lawyer?
A -  A Doberman

Q - What do you get when you cross a lawyer with another lawyer?  
A -  Nothing. There are some things that not even nature can permit.

Q - Hear about the terrorist that hijacked a 747 full of lawyers? 
A - He threatened to release one every hour if his demands weren't met.

Q - What happened to the lawyer who was thrown out of a saloon? 
A -  He was disbarred.

Q - Did you hear that the Post Office had to recall its series of stamps depicting famous lawyers.
A - People were confused about which side to spit on.

Old man: And what do you do, sir?
Lawyer:  I'm a criminal lawyer.
Old man: Aren't they all!

Talk is Cheap - until you hire a lawyer.

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