Q - What do you do if you run over a lawyer?
A - Back over him to make sure. Then, make another notch on the steering
wheel.
Q - How many lawyers does it take to roof a house?
A - Depends on how thin you slice them.
Q - Why won't sharks attack lawyers?
A - Professional courtesy.
Q - How do you stop a lawyer from drowning?
A - Shoot him before he hits the water.
Q - Have you heard about the lawyers word processor?
A - No matter what font you select, everything comes out in fine print.
Q - How do you know when your divorce is getting ugly?
A - When your lawyer doesn't seem like a bloodsucking leech anymore.
Q - What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech?
A - A leech will let go and drop off when its victim dies.
Q - What's the difference between a baseball player and a lawyer?
A - In baseball, if you're caught stealing, you're out.
Q - How many defense attorneys does it take to change a light bulb?
A - How many can you afford?
Q - What do you call an honest lawyer?
A - An impossibility.
Q - What is black and white and looks good on a Lawyer?
A - A Doberman
Q - What do you get when you cross a lawyer with another lawyer?
A - Nothing. There are some things that not even nature can permit.
Q - Hear about the terrorist that hijacked a 747 full of lawyers?
A - He threatened to release one every hour if his demands weren't met.
Q - What happened to the lawyer who was thrown out of a saloon?
A - He was disbarred.
Q - Did you hear that the Post Office had to recall its series of stamps
depicting famous lawyers.
A - People were confused about which side to spit on.
Old man: And what do you do, sir?
Lawyer: I'm a criminal lawyer.
Old man: Aren't they all!
Talk is Cheap - until you hire a lawyer.