Quickies About Men

Q - What do you call a man who expects sex on the second date?
A -  Slow!

Q - What is a man's idea of helping with the housework?
A -  Lifting his leg so you can vacuum.

Q - Why are men such dogs?
A -  I resent that. Dogs are faithful... loyal... affectionate... and obedient!

Q - "Hey Harry, how's the world been treating you?"
A -  "Like a baby treats a diaper."

Q - What do you do if your boyfriend walks-out?
A -  You shut the door.

Q - What's the definition of a bachelor ?
A - A man who has missed the opportunity to make some woman miserable.

Q - How do men sort their laundry?
A - "Filthy" and "Filthy but Wearable".

Q - When do you care for a man's company?
A -  When he owns it.

Q - How do you get a man to do sit-ups?
A -  Put the remote control between his toes.

Q - What's the most useful part of a man? 
A -  A wallet.

Q - What's the difference between men and women? 
A -  Men are crabby all month long.

Q - Why are married women heavier than single women?
A -  Single women come home, see what's in the refrigerator and go to bed.
       Married women come home, see what's in bed and go to the refrigerator.

Q - How is being at a singles bar different from going to the circus?
A -  At the circus, the clowns don't talk.

Q - How do you scare a man?
A - Sneak up behind them and throw rice.

Q - What do you have when you have two balls in your hand?
A -  A mans undivided attention.

Q - How can you tell if a man is intelligent?
A - You poor, naive thing!

Q - How can you tell when a man's had an orgasm?
A - From the snoring

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