Humorous Quotes attributed to Archie Bunker
TV Character, Central character of - 'All in the Family'
- A four-letter Italian word for
- Certainly I'm innocent, Edith. But of what?
- Edith, at my age I don't need ROUGHAGE--I
- Entertainment is a thing of the past, today
we've got television.
- I got a lotta best friends. Some o' them I
don't even hardly know!
- I got nothin' against mankind. It's people I
- I want you all to synchronize your tongues
- If society is at fault that we got killers
running around murdering innocent people, then it's simple. We turn the
killer loose, give him a pension for life and shoot the rest of the city.
- If you liberals keep gettin' your way -
we're all gonna hear one big loud flush. The sound of the U.S. of A. goin'
straight down the toilet.
- I'm saying I can't afford to make no
donations to no Catholic charities. If you need the money that bad, wire the
Pope! He's got more money than God!
- In fifty years, he never worked a day. To
him, nine to five was odds on a horse.
- It ain't supposed to make sense; it's faith.
Faith is something that you believe that nobody in his right mind would
- It's a proven fact that Capital Punishment
is a detergent for crime.
- Jesus was a Jew, yes, but only on his
- Listen Edith, I know you're singing, you
know you're singing, but the neighbors may think I'm torturing you.
- The American Way of life, si!
The American Way of death, no!
- The Bible's full of wine. God ain't got
nothing against a little drink to celebrate His Son's birthday with.
- There's nothing wrong with revenge - it's
the best way to get even !
- Was Uncle Oscar's death very untimely, you
ask? Well, it was near lunch.
- You can never buy beer, you just rent it.
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