Humorous Quotes attributed to Arnold Palmer
1929- , American Golfer

Bob Jones, my first golf hero, once commented that he never learned anything from a golf tournament he won. ~ A Golfer's Life

Golf is deceptively simple and endlessly complicated.

He (Sam Snead) was at heart a big old country boy who loved golf and had a zest for life, swallowing it in gulps (especially if someone else was buying the beer)... ~ A Golfer's Life

I began my day as I always do, by exercising and then downing a quart of water as my grandmother used to do in order to get the plumbing properly functioning. ~ A Golfer's Life

I remember how hard he tried that day, and how errant some of his shots were. But that’s Gerald Ford, as golfer and president. ~ A Golfer's Life

I try to play every day, and when I don't play - if you'll pardon the expression - I feel like a bear with a sore tail because of it. ~ A Golfer's Life

I used the engine’s thrust to regain control of the plane and brought her to a halt in the face of a snowbank at the end of the runway. The plane sustained negligible physical damage. I wish I could say the same thing for the pilot’s ego. ~ A Golfer's Life

I was shipped to boot camp at Cape May, where my company commander was rumored to have been kicked out of the U.S. marines because he was too rough on the men in his command. ~ A Golfer's Life

I'm happy to report that he (President Clinton) also has a deft sense of humor, which is definitely what you need if you plan to stay sane while playing golf or, I suspect, serving as president. ~ A Golfer's Life

In those days, it was kind of a running joke that the trajectory of my tee shots was so low you could always tell when Arnold Palmer had been on the tee – the grass in front of it was scorched by the ball. ~ A Golfer's Life

It is a rare and difficult attainment to grow old gracefully and happily.

It’s pretty widely known that I will talk to just about anybody who happens to be breathing. Especially fans and paying customers. ~ A Golfer's Life

I've learned the great value of diplomacy and seeking an honorable peace. But part of that wisdom is knowing when to fight and another part is knowing when to fight even harder. ~ A Golfer's Life

Jack (Nicklaus) navigates more by brain. I go more by heart. Intellect versus instinct. Jack versus Arnie. ~ A Golfer's Life

Obviously they didn’t know Job Gibbs. The man has a southern preacher’s charms and a mongoose’s tenacity. ~ A Golfer's Life

President Clinton nearly brought tears to my eyes when he remarked at the presentation that one reason he wanted to be president was for the “perks” – and that presenting the award to Arnold Palmer was one of the biggest perks of his career. ~ A Golfer's Life

President Eisenhower, as it turned out, swung a golf club with great conviction, if not tremendous dexterity. ~ A Golfer's Life

Sam Snead will fly anywhere in my plane with me. Sam's not as worried about the danger as he is about saving money.

Sometimes, as the saying in golf goes, it’s better to be lucky than good, and at the Masters of 1962, I think I was a little bit of both. ~ A Golfer's Life

The conventional view is that Oakmont was an Open I should have won because I was the better player at the time. Well, “should have” and “did” may be neighbors, but they don’t always get along. ~ A Golfer's Life

There is simply no experience in golf quite like being part of your first Ryder Cup opening ceremony, unless perhaps it’s the closing ceremonies after your side has won. ~ A Golfer's Life

There’s no feeling quite as satisfying as entering the media room to face the press after winning a big golf tournament - or, at the other end of the spectrum, as potentially painful when you've blown it. ~ A Golfer's Life

Timing is everything in life and in golf. ~ A Golfer's Life

What other people may find in poetry or art museums, I find in the flight of a good drive.

Winnie couldn’t cook a lick. Actually, that’s not entirely correct. She could make great icebox cake, a recipe she’d been taught as a girl. But when it came, say, to boiling water – she was out of her depth. ~ A Golfer's Life

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