Humorous Quotes attributed to Barry Goldwater
1909-1998, American Statesman, Senator,
Republican Presidential Candidate

A government that is big enough to give you all you want is big enough to take it all away.

Extremism in the defense of liberty is no vice, and . . . moderation in the pursuit of justice is not virtue. (Goldwater)

He (Lyndon Johnson) never cleaned that crap off his boots. It trailed him from the Senate to the vice presidency and into the Oval Office itself. There's an old saying out in Arizona: If you get down in the manure, you come up smelling like it. (Goldwater)

I could be very impatient in private. In fact, I've been known to blow my top like an oil gusher. (Goldwater)

I have long said that there are more leaks in Washington than in Anheuser-Busch's biggest men's room. (Goldwater)

I have other objections to today's Capitol Hill but none stronger than the sheer size of congressional staffs and support agencies. This balloon is likely to be filled with more hot air as staffs and agencies increase. (Goldwater)

I once paraphrased Mark Twain on the Senate floor-there is no distinctly native American criminal class except Congress. (Goldwater)

If everybody in this town connected with politics had to leave town because of chasing women and drinking, you would have no government.

It was always my feeling, and still is, that a man's main message should be headlined - not the fact that he may have fallen off a horse at the county fair. Any damn fool can do that. (Goldwater)

It's a great country, where anybody can grow up to be president... except me.

I won't say that the papers misquote me, but I sometimes wonder where Christianity would be today if some of those reporters had been Matthew, Mark, Luke and John.

Johnson liked closed doors and, if possible, closed windows. And sometimes closed minds. (Goldwater)

No lie is intelligent, but his (Richard Nixon's) were colossal stupidity because they involved the presidency of the United States. (Goldwater)

Politics wouldn't be politics without a fight. However, I've always said that to disagree, one doesn't have to be disagreeable. (Goldwater)

The business and sport of Washington is talking, night and day. The nation's capital is the Hoover Dam of leaks. (Goldwater)

The conscience of the House once became so pained that members actually passed a resolution saying, "Your Congress is not a crook." (Goldwater)

The Defense Department spends as much time on its annual budget as it does planning to defend the country. (Goldwater)

The income tax created more criminals than any other single act of government.

The only summit meeting that can succeed is the one that does not take place.

Those early instructors rarely taught students how to get out of a spin. One of them once said jokingly to me, "If you ever get into one, let go of everything and start the Lord's Prayer." (Goldwater)

Westerners often admire a man more for standing tall than being right. That might not appear to be the most politic thing to say, but it's the truth. (Goldwater)

When I woke up this morning, I had one nerve left, and damned if you ain't got on it! (Goldwater)

You don't need to be 'straight' to fight for your country. You just need to shoot straight.

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