Humorous Quotes attributed to Charles Caleb Colton
1780-1832, British Writer, Cleric, Eccentric

Applause is the spur of noble minds, the end and aim of weak ones.

He that thinks he is the happiest man, really is so. But he that thinks he is the wisest, is generally the greatest fool.

I'm aiming by the time I'm fifty to stop being an adolescent.

If you cannot inspire a woman with love of you, fill her above the brim with love of herself; all that runs over will be yours.

It is the briefest yet wisest maxim which tells us to ''meddle not''.

Justice to my readers compels me to admit that I write because I have nothing to do; justice to myself induces me to add that I will cease to write the moment I have nothing to say.

Knowledge is two-fold, and consists not only in an affirmation of what is true, but in the negation of that which is false.

Levity is often less foolish and gravity less wise than each of them appears.

Many speak the truth when they say that they despise riches, but they mean the riches possessed by other men.

Marriage is a feast where the grace is sometimes better than the dinner.

Men will wrangle for religion, write for it, fight for it, die for it; anything but live for it. (Lacon)

Moderation is the inseparable companion of wisdom, but with it genius has not even a nodding acquaintance.

Mystery is not profoundness.

No roads are so rough as those that have just been mended, so no sinners are so intolerant as those that have just turned saints. (Lacon)

Nothing more completely baffles one who is full of tricks and duplicity than straight forward and simple integrity in another.

Of all the marvelous works of God, perhaps the one angels view with the most supreme astonishment, is a proud man.

Our income are like our shoes; if too small, they gall and pinch us; but if too large, they cause us to stumble and trip.

Philosophy is a bully that talks loud when the danger is at a distant; but, the moment she is pressed hard by an enemy, she is nowhere to be found and leaves the brunt of the battle to be fought by her steady, humble comrade, religion.

Posthumous charities are the very essence of selfishness, when bequeathed by those who, when alive, would not have contributed.

The excess of our youth are checks written against our age and they are payable with interest thirty years later.

There are some frauds so well conducted that it would be stupidity not to be deceived by them.

There are some men whose enemies are to be pitied much and their friends more. (Lacon)

There are three modes of bearing the ills of life, by indifference, by philosophy, and by religion.

There is nothing more imprudent than excessive prudence.

There is this paradox in pride -- it makes some men ridiculous, but prevents others from becoming so.

To look back to antiquity is one thing, to go back to it is another.

To sentence a man of true genius, to the drudgery of a school is to put a racehorse on a treadmill.

We should forgive freely, but forget rarely. I will not be revenged, and this I owe to my enemy; but I will remember, and this I owe to myself. (Lacon)

Were we as eloquent as angels we still would please people much more by listening rather than talking.

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