Humorous Quotes attributed to Chico Marx
1887-1961, American Comic Actor
- Hello? Room Service. Bring up enough ice to cool a warm body. (Room
- I came into this world even. All I want to do is go out even.
- I wasn't kissing her, I was whispering in her mouth.
kill *you* for money. [Harpo looks dejected] Ha ha ha. Ah, no. You're
my friend. I'd kill you for nothing.
- If they'll just put a good two-iron, a golf bag, a pack of gin
cards and a beautiful blonde in my coffin, they can send it anywhere they
- Mustard's no good without roast beef.
- My grandfather's great. He's a great-grandfather. (Monkey
- My partner - he's got a nose just like a bloodhound ... and
the rest of his face don't look so good either. (Duck Soup)
- Take your face out of my foot! (Monkey Business)
- The first crap game I ever played in I lost forty-seven
thousand dollars in one night, but I learned as I went along. In time I was
able to lose much more than that.
- Well, who you gonna believe, me or
your own eyes? (Duck Soup)
- (when asked how much money he'd lost gambling) Ask Harpo. As
much money as he has, that's how much money I've lost.
- Whenever you got business trouble the best thing to do is to
get a lawyer. Then you got more trouble, but at least you got a lawyer. (At
- Albertson: Well, if you fellows don't mind, I'm going to wash
Chico: Yeah, go ahead. The rest of us are already washed up.
- Groucho: It's all right, tha-that's in every contract. Tha-that's
what they call a sanity clause.
Chico: Ha ha ha ha ha ha... you can't fool me. There ain't no Santy Clause.
(A Night at the Opera)
- Thelma: I have a falsetto voice.
Chico: That's-a funny; my last pupil she had-a false set-a teeth.
- Groucho: How much would you charge to run into an open
Chico: Just the cover charge.
- Groucho: Don't you know what vessel is?
Chico: Sure, I can vessel... [starts whistling]
- Groucho: Do you want to be a public nuisance?
Chico: Sure. How much does the job pay.
Groucho: You give up that silly peanut stand and I'll get you a soft
government job. Now, let's see . . . How would you like a job in the mint?
Chico: Mint? No, no, I no like-a mint. Uh . . . what other flavour you
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