Humorous Quotes attributed to Douglas Adams
1952-2001, British Author, Humorist
- A common mistake people make when trying to design something completely foolproof is to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools
- Ah, this is obviously some strange usage of the word 'safe' that I wasn't
previously aware of. (The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy)
- Anyone who is capable of getting themselves made President should on no account be allowed to do the job. (The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy)
- He felt that his whole life was some kind of dream and he sometimes wondered whose it was and whether they were enjoying it.
(The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy)
- He hoped and prayed that there wasn't an afterlife. Then he realized there was a contradiction involved here and merely hoped that there wasn't an afterlife. (Life, The Universe and Everything)
- Humans are not proud of their ancestors, and rarely invite them round to
- Human beings, who are almost unique in having the ability to learn from the experience of others, are also remarkable for their apparent disinclination to do so.
- I don't want to die now! I've still got a headache! I don't want to go to
heaven with a headache, I'd be all cross and wouldn't enjoy it! (The
Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy)
- I find the whole business of religion profoundly interesting. But it does mystify me that otherwise intelligent people take it seriously.
- I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.
- I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up
where I intended to be.
- If human beings don't keep exercising their lips, their brains start working. (The Restaurant at the End of the Universe)
- If I were not an atheist, I think I would have to be a Catholic because if it wasn't the forces of natural selection that designed fish, It must have been an Italian. (Riding the Rays, an article written in 1992)
- In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move. (The Restaurant at the End of the Universe)
- I'm spending a year dead for tax reasons.
- In those days spirits were brave, the stakes were high, men were real men, women were real women and small furry creatures from Alpha Centauri were real small furry creatures from Alpha Centauri.
- It is a mistake to think you can solve any major problems just with potatoes.
- Life... is like a grapefruit. It's orange and squishy, and has a few pips in
it, and some folks have half a one for breakfast.
- The last time anybody made a list of the top hundred character attributes of New Yorkers, common sense snuck in at number 79.
- The major difference between a thing that might go wrong and a thing that cannot possibly go wrong is that when a thing that cannot possibly go wrong goes wrong it usually turns out to be impossible to get at or repair. (Mostly Harmless)
- The ships hung in the sky in much the same way that bricks don't.
- There is an art to flying or rather a knack. The knack lies in learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss. (Life, The Universe and Everything)
- There is a feeling which persists in England that making a sandwich interesting, attractive, or in any way pleasant to eat is something sinful that only foreigners do. (So Long, and Thanks for all the Fish)
- There is a theory which states that if ever anybody discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable. There is another theory which states that this has already happened. (The Restaurant at the End of the Universe)
- There is no point in driving yourself mad trying to stop yourself going mad. (Life, The Universe and Everything)
- Time is an illusion. Lunchtime doubly so. (The Hitchhiker's Guide to the
- Time is the worst place, so to speak, to get lost in. At least being lost in space kept you busy. (Life, The Universe and Everything)
- You live and learn. At any rate, you live.
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