Humorous Quotes about
Fathers / Fatherhood

The Usual Tributes :

Noble fathers have noble children. ~ Euripides

A father is a banker provided by nature. ~ French Proverb

One father is more than a hundred school-masters. ~ George Herbert

What a father says to his children is not heard by the world, but it will be heard by posterity. ~ Jean Paul Richter

That is the thankless position of the father in the family -- the provider for all, and the enemy of all. ~ J. August Strindberg

When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much the old man had learned in seven years. ~ Mark Twain

What do we call these ...? DisTributes?? :-)

Dad taught me everything I know. Unfortunately, he didn't teach me everything he knows.~ Al Unser, Jr.

The fundamental defect with fathers is that they want their children to be a credit to them. ~ Bertrand Russell

The place of the father in the modern suburban family is a very small one, particularly if he plays golf. ~ Bertrand Russell

A man's desire for a son is usually nothing but the wish to duplicate himself in order that such a remarkable pattern may not be lost to the world. ~ Helen Rowland

As fathers commonly go, it is seldom a misfortune to be fatherless; and considering the general run of sons, as seldom a misfortune to be childless. ~ Lord Chesterfield

It is a wise child that knows its own father, and an unusual one that unreservedly approves of him. ~ Mark Twain

Parents are the last people on earth who ought to have children. ~ Samuel Butler

Those who have never had a father can at any rate never know the sweets of losing one. To most men the death of his father is a new lease of life. ~ Samuel Butler

Men are generally more careful of the breed of their horses and dogs than of their children. ~ William Penn

Personal Tributes :

My father didn't tell me how to live; he lived, and let me watch him do it. ~ Clarence Budington Kelland

My father gave me the greatest gift anyone could give another person, he believed in me. ~ Jim Valvano

My best training came from my father. ~ Woodrow Wilson

Deep Personal Tributes ;o)

My father must have had some elementary education for he could read and write and keep accounts inaccurately ~ George Bernard Shaw

My Father had a profound influence on me, he was a lunatic. ~ Spike Milligan

Neutral Territory? :-)

Maternity is a matter of fact, paternity is a matter of opinion. ~ American Proverb

We think our fathers fools, so wise we grow.
Our wiser sons, no doubt will think us so.
~ Alexander Pope

Fatherhood is pretending the present you love the most is soap-on-a-rope. ~ Bill Cosby

By the time a man realizes that maybe his father was right, he usually has a son who thinks he's wrong. ~ Charles Wadworth

A man knows when he is growing old because he begins to look like his father. ~ Gabriel Garcia Marquez

Today's Father Day and we're giving you a tie, it's not much you know, it's just our way of showing you, you're a regular guy. ~ Groucho Marx

My brother Bob doesn't want to be in government -- he promised Dad he'd go straight. ~ John Fitzgerald Kennedy

When I was a kid, I used to imagine animals running under my bed. I told my dad, and he solved the problem quickly. He cut the legs off the bed. ~ Lou Brock

Fathers should be neither seen nor heard. That is the only proper basis for family life. ~ Oscar Wilde

The Final Word ! :-)-

When one has not had a good father, one must create one.~ Friedrich Nietzsche

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