Humorous Quotes about
Friends/Friendship

The imaginary friends I had as a kid dropped me because their friends thought I didn't exist. ~ Aaron Machado

Am I not destroying my enemies when I make friends of them? ~ Abraham Lincoln

A true friend never gets in your way unless you happen to be going down. ~ Arnold H. Glasgow

Friends come and go but enemies accumulate. ~ Arthur Bloch

A home-made friend wears longer than one you buy in the market. ~ Austin O'Malley

There are three faithful friends, an old wife, an old dog, and ready money. ~ Benjamin Franklin

A true friend is someone who thinks that you are a good egg even though he knows that you are slightly cracked. ~ Bernard Meltzer

You can't eat your friends and have them too. ~ Budd Schulberg

I like friends as I like music – when I am in the mood. ~ Charlie Chaplin (My Autobiography)

To help a friend in need is easy, but to give him your time is not always opportune. ~ Charlie Chaplin (My Autobiography)

My friends, there are no friends. ~ Coco Chanel

My mother used to say that there are no strangers, only friends you haven't met yet. She's now in a maximum security twilight home in Australia. ~ Dame Edna Everage

A true friend is one who overlooks your failures and tolerates your successes. ~ Doug Larson

Don't abuse your friends and expect them to consider it criticism. ~ Edgar Watson Howe

A friend is one who knows you and loves you just the same. ~ Elbert Hubbard

The best time to make friends is before you need them. ~ Ethel Barrymore

God gives us our relatives -- thank God we can choose our friends. ~ Ethel Watts Mumford

We cherish our friends not for their ability to amuse us, but for our ability to amuse them. ~ Evelyn Waugh

Flatterers look like friends, as wolves like dogs. ~ George Chapman

A friend you have to buy won't be worth what you pay for him. ~ George D. Prentice

The sacrifices of friendship were beautiful in her eyes as long as she was not asked to make them. ~ Hector Hugh Munro (Saki)

The difficulty is not that great to die for a friend, the hard part is finding a friend worth dying for. ~ Henry Home

In the New Year, may your right hand always be stretched out in friendship, but never in want. ~ Irish Toast

I notice my wife when she's on the phone with her friends, man they will share every animate details of their lives with each other. See men once we become friends with another man we may never say another word to him, unless there's valuable information that needs to be exchanged. Things like "Hey Jim, your shirt's on fire." ~ Jeff Foxworthy (Big Funny)

Treat your friends as you do your pictures, and place them in their best light. ~ Jennie Jerome Churchill

A friend you have to buy; enemies you get for nothing. ~ Jewish Proverb

Show me a friend in need and I'll show you a pest. ~ Joe E. Lewis

You can always tell a real friend; when you've made a fool of yourself he doesn't feel you've done a permanent job. ~ Laurence J. Peter

He is a fine friend. He stabs you in the front. ~ Leonard Louis Levinson

All things being equal, people will do business with a friend; all things being unequal, people will still do business with a friend. ~ Mark Mccormack

Good friends, good books and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life. ~ Mark Twain

To find a friend one must close one eye -- to keep him, two. ~ Norman Douglas

Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo, but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down. ~ Oprah Winfrey

Anybody can sympathize with the sufferings of a friend, but it requires a very fine nature to sympathize with a friend's success.

Friendship is far more tragic than love. It lasts longer. ~ Oscar Wilde

It is a very dangerous thing to know one's friends. ~ Oscar Wilde

Laughter is not at all a bad beginning for a friendship, and it is far the best ending for one. ~ Oscar Wilde

Never exaggerate your faults, your friends will attend to that. ~ Robert C. Edwards

Friendship will not stand the strain of very much good advice for very long. ~ Robert Lynd

The most fatal disease of friendship is gradual decay, or dislike hourly increased by causes too slender for complaint, and too numerous for removal. ~ Samuel Johnson

I have three kinds of friends: those who love me, those who pay no attention to me, and those who detest me. ~ Sebastien-Roch Nicolas De Chamfort

My true friends have always given me that supreme proof of devotion, a spontaneous aversion for the man I loved. ~ Sidonie Gabrielle Colette

Money couldn't buy friends, but you got a better class of enemy. ~ Spike Milligan

If you have one true friend you have more than your share. ~ Thomas Fuller

May God defend me from my friends; I can defend myself from my enemies. ~ Voltaire

Thy friendship oft has made my heart to ache; do be my enemy for friendship's sake. ~ William Blake

The best way to keep your friends is not to give them away. ~ Wilson Mizner

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