Humorous Quotes about
- The gambling known as business looks with severe disfavor on the business known as gambling. ~ Ambrose Bierce
- A number of moralists condemn lotteries and refuse to see anything noble in the passion of the ordinary gambler. They judge gambling as some atheists judge religion, by its excesses. ~ Charles Lamb (Essays of Elia)
- The race is not always to the swift, nor the battle to the strong, but that's the way to bet. ~ Damon Runyon
- Nevada has a very dynamic economy, with gambling being the number-one industry, followed closely by blood donorship. ~ Dave Barry (Only Travel Guide you'll ever need)
- The only man who makes money following the races is one who does it with a broom and shovel. ~ Elbert Hubbard
- The best bet you can get is an even break. ~ Franklin Pierce Adams
- The roulette table pays nobody except him that keeps it. Nevertheless a passion for gaming is common, though a passion for keeping roulette tables is unknown. ~ G. Bernard Shaw
- Mr.Blank's reputation as a card shark had preceded him. No one accused him of being dishonest, but on the other hand no one accused him of being honest. ~ Groucho Marx (Memoirs of a Mangy Lover)
- The urge to gamble is so universal and its practice so pleasurable that I assume it must be evil. ~ Heywood Broun
- I gambled at the crap table all night and finally lost $8, but during that time the house gave me four drinks and two cigars, so it was still a lot cheaper than renting a room.~ Jack Benny
- My advice to the unborn is, don't be born with a gambling instinct unless you have a good sense of probabilities. ~ Jack Dreyfus
- If you play bridge badly you make your partner suffer, but if you play poker badly you make everybody happy. ~ Joe Laurie Jr.
- The safest way to double your money is to fold it over once and put it in your pocket. ~ Kin Hubbard
- No wife can endure a gambling husband unless he is a steady winner. ~ Lord Dewar
- The smarter you play, the luckier you'll be. ~ Mark Pilarski
- He had the calm confidence of a Christian with four Aces. ~ Mark Twain
- Baccarat is a game whereby the croupier gathers in money with a flexible sculling oar, then rakes it home. If I could have borrowed his oar I would have stayed. ~ Mark Twain ~ Mark Twain
- Remember this: The House doesn't beat the player, it just gives him the opportunity to beat himself. ~ Nick the Greek
- One should always play fair when one has the winning cards. ~ Oscar Wilde
- A dollar won is twice as sweet as a dollar earned. ~ Paul Newman (The Color of Money)
- Italians come to ruin most generally in three ways, women, gambling, and farming. My family chose the slowest one. ~ Pope John XXIII
- A Smith & Wesson beats four Aces. ~ Proverb
- Rule: Never perform card tricks for the people you play poker with. ~ Proverb
- Gambling is the future of the Internet. You can only look at so many dirty pictures. ~ Simon Noble, Online Bookmaker
- Casinos and prostitutes have the same thing in common; they are both trying to screw you out of your money and send you home with a smile on your face. ~ VP Pappy
- The racetrack is a place where windows clean people. ~ VP Pappy
- Your best chance to get a Royal Flush in a casino is in the bathroom. ~ VP Pappy
- I hope to break even this week. I need the money. ~ Veteran Las Vegas Player
- Gambling: The sure way of getting nothing from something. ~ Wilson Mizner
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