Humorous Quotes attributed to Grace Allen (Gracie)
1906-1964, American Comedienne, Actress
- A young boy shouldn't be given up for hopeless just because he's lazy, surly, and good for nothing. Don't be
discouraged by those things - maybe he's just trying to be like his daddy. (Gracie)
- All the other candidates are making speeches about how much they have done for their country, which is ridiculous. I
haven't done anything yet, and I think it's just common sense to send me to
Washington and make me do my share. (Gracie Allen for President 1940)
- As I look...at all these trusting and loving faces...tears come into my eyes...and if you must know why...it's because my
girdle is killing me. (Gracie Allen for President 1940)
- Build a better mousetrap than your neighbour and Kraft Cheese will beat a path to your door.
- Education is worth a whole lot. Just think -
with enough education and brains the average man would make a good lawyer -
and so would the average lawyer. (Gracie)
- "Gracie, why
should I give your mother a bushel of nuts? What'd she ever give me?"
"Why, George, she gave you me. And I'm as good as nuts." (Gracie)
- "Gracie, did the maid ever drop you on
your head when you were a baby?"
"Don't be silly, George, we couldn't afford a maid. My mother had to do
- "Gracie, would you like a Doctor?
"One at a time, kiddo, I'm not through with you yet."
- I read a book twice as fast as anybody else.
First, I read the beginning, and then I read the ending, and then I start in
the middle and read toward whatever end I like best.
- I read in the papers that the Los Angeles
police are hunting for a Chicago gangster. But why do they want one from
Chicago? Can't they be satisfied with a hometown boy? (Gracie)
- I stand before you tonight a simple, plain
woman... (GROANS) which is not my fault, but the beautician can't take me
till tomorrow. (Gracie Allen for President 1940)
- I was so surprised at being born that I
didn't speak for a year and a half. (Gracie)
- If the deficit still seems too high, I'll
sing it again... starting a half-note lower. (Gracie Allen for President
- I'm a very lucky woman. I was courted by the youngest,
handsomest, most charming, most sought-after star in show business - but
I still married George because I loved him. (Gracie)
- It's foolish to bet on a horse without
talking to him first. I know it seems silly to ask a horse who's going to
win a race - but it's no sillier than asking anyone else. (Gracie)
- Keep up your morning exercises, because every
politician must be able to keep both feet on the fence with his ear to the
ground. (Gracie Allen for President 1940)
- Let the others make statues of Apollo and
Mercury and Hercules... You're the man I want to chisel.
- Let's all put our shoulders to the wheel and
push the Ship of State further into the mud. (Gracie Allen for President
- [on phone] No, the doctor isn't in just now.
Oh, he won't be back for a long, long time. He went out on one of those
eternity cases. (International House)
- Take my little nephoo . . . if you can use a little nephoo.
- The Senate is the only show in the world
where the cash customers have to sit in the balcony.
- There's no job for George because I don't
think it's dignified for the President's husband to work. People would be
whispering that I can't support him. (Gracie Allen for President 1940)
- This used to be a government of checks and balances. Now it's all checks and no
balances. (Gracie Allen for President 1940)
- You kissed me like that when I was a blushing
bride ...? I wonder what I was blushing about ... ?
(asked how to speak French) You speak it the same way you speak English,
you just use different words. (Gracie)
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