Humorous Quotes attributed to Heinrich Heine
1797-1856, German Poet, Critic

Experience is a good school. But the fees are high.

God will forgive me. It's His job.

Great genius takes shape by contact with another great genius, but, less by assimilation than by friction.

I fell asleep reading a dull book and dreamed I kept on reading, so I awoke from sheer boredom.

I have never seen an ass who talked like a human being, but I have met many human beings who talked like asses.

If the Romans had been obliged to learn Latin, they would never have found time to conquer the world.

It is extremely difficult for a Jew to be converted, for how can he bring himself to believe in the divinity of - another Jew?

It must require an inordinate share of vanity and presumption, too, after enjoying so much that is good and beautiful on earth, to ask the Lord for immortality in addition to it all.

Oh, what lies there are in kisses.

One should forgive one's enemies, but not before they are hanged.

Ordinarily he was insane, but he had lucid moments when he was merely stupid.

Talking and eloquence are not the same: to speak and to speak well are two things. A fool may talk, but a wise man speaks.

The Bible is the great family chronicle of the Jews.

The fundamental evil of the world arose from the fact that the good Lord has not created money enough.

The weather-cock on the church spire, though made of iron, would soon be broken by the storm-wind if it did not understand the noble art of turning to every wind.

The Wedding March always reminds me of the music played when soldiers go into battle.

There are more fools in the world than there are people.

True eloquence consists in saying all that is necessary, and nothing but what is necessary.

Whatever tears one may shed, in the end one always blows one's nose.

You cannot feed the hungry on statistics.

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