Humorous Quotes attributed to Honore de Balzac
1799-1850, French Writer

A husband and wife who have separate bedrooms have either drifted apart or found happiness.

A married woman is a slave you must know how to seat upon a throne.

A naked woman is less dangerous than one who spreads her skirt skillfully to cover and exhibit everything at once.

Actually some men are uglier and more stupid than God can possibly have fashioned them.

Admiration bestowed upon any one but ourselves is always tedious.

An entire city can slander a man but if he has no friends he will remain blissfully ignorant of it.

First love is a kind of vaccination which saves a man from catching the complaint the second time.

For the journalist, anything probable is gospel truth.

Happiness has no history. Story tellers of all lands have understood this so clearly that the sentence 'And they lived happily ever after' - concludes all love adventures.

If certain women walk straight into adultery, there are many others who cling to numerous hopes, and commit sin only after wandering through a maze of sorrows.

In Paris, the greatest expression of personal satisfaction known to man is the smirk on the face of a male, highly pleased with himself as he leaves the boudoir of a lady.

In the provinces, what is called dignity amounts to standing very stiffly and making oneself thoroughly boring.

It is as absurd to say that a man can't love one woman all the time as it is to say that a violinist needs several violins to play the same piece of music.

It is easier to be a lover than a husband for the simple reason that it is more difficult to be witty every day than to say pretty things from time to time.

It is easy to sit up and take notice, What is difficult is getting up and taking action.

Marriage is an institution necessary to the maintenance of society but contrary to the laws of nature.

Naturalists have described many fierce wild animals but they have overlooked Mother and Daughter on the prowl for a husband.

Nature makes only dumb animals. We owe the fools to society.

Noble passions are like vices: the more they are satisfied, the greater they grow. Mothers and gamblers are insatiable.

Priests, magistrates and ladies never quite take off their gowns.

Stupidity assumed two forms; it speaks or is silent. Mute stupidity is bearable.

The majority of husbands remind me of an orangutan trying to play the violin.

The only explanation of happiness is the fact that it exists.

To kill a relative of whom you are tired is something. But to inherit his property afterwards, that is genuine pleasure.

Who has not heard a woman say: "Oh, that's nothing! It's only my husband!"

Women are as they are; they necessarily have the defects of their virtues.

Women are no more deceived by the tricks men play than by their own.

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