Humorous Quotes attributed to Honore de Balzac
1799-1850, French Writer
- A husband and wife who have separate bedrooms have either drifted apart or found happiness.
- A married woman is a slave you must know how to seat upon a throne.
- A naked woman is less dangerous than one who spreads her skirt skillfully to cover and exhibit everything at once.
- Actually some men are uglier and more stupid than God can possibly have fashioned them.
- Admiration bestowed upon any one but ourselves is always tedious.
- An entire city can slander a man but if he has no friends he will remain
blissfully ignorant of it.
- First love is a kind of vaccination which saves a man from catching the
complaint the second time.
- For the journalist, anything probable is gospel truth.
- Happiness has no history. Story tellers of all lands have understood this so clearly that the sentence 'And they lived happily ever after' - concludes all love adventures.
- If certain women walk straight into adultery, there are many others who
cling to numerous hopes, and commit sin only after wandering through a maze of sorrows.
- In Paris, the greatest expression of personal satisfaction known to man is the smirk on the face of a male, highly pleased with himself as he leaves the boudoir of a lady.
- In the provinces, what is called dignity amounts to standing very stiffly
and making oneself thoroughly boring.
- It is as absurd to say that a man can't love one woman all the time as it is to say that a violinist needs several violins to play the same piece of
- It is easier to be a lover than a husband for the simple reason that it is
more difficult to be witty every day than to say pretty things from time to
- It is easy to sit up and take notice, What is difficult is getting up and
- Marriage is an institution necessary to the maintenance of society but
contrary to the laws of nature.
- Naturalists have described many fierce wild animals but they have overlooked Mother and Daughter on the prowl for a husband.
- Nature makes only dumb animals. We owe the fools to society.
- Noble passions are like vices: the more they are satisfied, the greater they grow. Mothers and gamblers are insatiable.
- Priests, magistrates and ladies never quite take off their gowns.
- Stupidity assumed two forms; it speaks or is silent. Mute stupidity is
- The majority of husbands remind me of an orangutan trying to play the
- The only explanation of happiness is the fact that it exists.
- To kill a relative of whom you are tired is something. But to inherit his
property afterwards, that is genuine pleasure.
- Who has not heard a woman say: "Oh, that's nothing! It's only my husband!"
- Women are as they are; they necessarily have the defects of their virtues.
- Women are no more deceived by the tricks men play than by their own.
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