Humorous Quotes attributed to Isaac Asimov
1920-1992, American Science/Science Fiction Writer

A subtle thought that is in error may yet give rise to fruitful inquiry that can establish truths of great value.

All should behold the man (John Ciardi) and observe him narrowly, for whatever he does, why do the contrary and you will be right. (Limericks - Asimov and Ciardi in a War of Words)

Creationists make it sound as though a 'theory' is something you dreamt up after being drunk all night.

Everyone around me was going through the horrifying ritual of lying in the sun and volleyballing and hiking and doing whatever other forms of refined torture that are supposed to be fun. (Isaac Asimov's Treasury of Humor)

From my close observation of writers...they fall into two groups: 1) those who bleed copiously and visibly at any bad review, and 2) those who bleed copiously and secretly at any bad review.

I do not fear computers. I fear the lack of them.

I don't believe in an afterlife, so I don't have to spend my whole life fearing hell, or fearing heaven even more. For whatever the tortures of hell, I think the boredom of heaven would be even worse.

I type ninety words per minute on the typewriter; I type one-hundred words per minute on the word processor. But, of course, I don't keep that up indefinitely -- every once in a while I do have to think a few seconds.

I write for the same reason I breathe - because if I didn't, I would die.

If knowledge can create problems, it is not through ignorance that we can solve them.

If my doctor told me I had only six minutes to live, I wouldn't brood. I'd
type a little faster. ("Life," Jan 1984.)

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It pays to be obvious, especially if you have a reputation for subtlety. (Foundation)

It takes more than capital to swing business. You've got to have the A. I. D. degree to get by - Advertising, Initiative, and Dynamics.

It's terrible when you have to choose between the virtues of honesty and of modesty. (Limericks - Asimov and Ciardi in a War of Words)

John Dalton's records, carefully preserved for a century, were destroyed during the World War II bombing of Manchester. It is not only the living who are killed in war.

Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It's the transition that's troublesome.

Never let your sense of morals prevent you from doing what's right.

Nothing interferes with my concentration. You could put on an orgy in my office and I wouldn't look up. Well, maybe once.

Part of the inhumanity of the computer is that, once it is competently programmed and working smoothly, it is completely honest.

Science fiction writers foresee the inevitable, and although problems and catastrophes may be inevitable, solutions are not.

Self-education is, I firmly believe, the only kind of education there is.

Some people fall short of perfection most of the time, but John Ciardi never does. Without fail, without exception without swerving to either right or left a hair's-breadth, he invariably does the perfectly wrong thing. (Limericks - Asimov and Ciardi in a War of Words)

Someone once asked me if I had a fixed routine before I start, like setting up exercises, sharpening pencils, or having a drink of orange juice. I said, 'No, the only thing I do before I start writing is to make sure that I'm close enough to the typewriter to reach the keys.'

The most exciting phrase to hear in science, the one that heralds new discoveries, is not 'Eureka!' (I found it!) but 'That's funny ...'

The saddest aspect of life right now is that science gathers knowledge faster than society gathers wisdom.

Those people who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do.

To insult someone we call him "bestial." For deliberate cruelty and nature, "human" might be the greater insult.

You know when a person is intelligent, but you can be easily fooled if you are not yourself intelligent.

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