Humorous Quotes about
Judges / Juries
- A jury too often has at least one member more ready to
hang the panel than to hang the traitor. ~ Abraham Lincoln
- Jury - The stupidity of one brain multiplied by twelve.
~ Elbert Hubbard
- Judges don't age. Time decorates them. ~ Enid Bagnold
- Only Lawyers and mental defectives are automatically
exempt for jury duty. ~ George Bernard Shaw
- Our civilization has decided that determining the guilt
or innocence of men is a thing too important to be trusted to trained men.
When it wants a library catalogued, or the solar system discovered, or any
trifle of that kind, it uses up its specialists. But when it wishes anything
done which is really serious, it collects twelve of the ordinary men standing
round. The same thing was done, if I remember right, by the Founder of
Christianity. ~ Gilbert K. Chesterton
A judge is a law student who grades his own papers. ~ H. L. Mencken
- The penalty for laughing in a courtroom is six months in
jail; if it were not for this penalty, the jury would never hear the evidence.
~ H. L. Mencken
The court is like a palace of marble; it's composed of people very hard and
very polished. ~ Jean De La Bruyere
''Write that down,'' the King said to the jury, and the jury eagerly wrote
down all three dates on their slates, and then added them up, and reduced
the answer to shillings and pence. ~ Lewis Carroll
A judge is not supposed to know anything about the facts of life until they
have been presented in evidence and explained to him at least three times. ~
Lord Chief Justice Parker
We have a criminal jury system which is superior to any in the world; and
its efficiency is only marred by the difficulty of finding twelve men every
day who don't know anything and can't read. ~ Mark Twain
- The humorist who invented trial by jury played a
colossal practical joke upon the world, but since we have the system we ought
to try and respect it. A thing which is not thoroughly easy to do, when we
reflect that by command of the law a criminal juror must be an intellectual
vacuum, attached to a melting heart and perfectly macaronian bowels of
compassion. ~ Mark Twain
When you go into court you are putting your fate into the hands of twelve
people who weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty. ~ Norm Crosby
The judge is found guilty when a criminal is acquitted. ~ Publilius Syrus
The jury consist of twelve persons chosen to decide who has the better
lawyer. ~ Robert Frost
- A fox should not be of the jury at a goose's trial. ~ Thomas Fuller
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