Humorous Quotes from
Just Wait till you have Children of your own
By Erma Bombeck
- Some women are lucky, you know. They gave birth to babies. I gave birth to teen-agers.
- Our teen-agers withdrew to their bedrooms on their thirteenth birthday and didn’t show themselves to us again until it was time to get married.
- If we spoke to them (our teenage kids) in public, they threatened to self-destruct within three minutes.
- I know it is too late now, but I have long felt that I was foolish not to limit my family. . . to a parakeet with his tongue clipped.
- For years, my husband and I have advocated separate vacations. But the kids keep finding us.
- There is something disgusting about a kid who wakes up happy and goes steadily uphill the rest of the day.
- He came on the trip with a change of underwear and a single word in his vocabulary, “Gross.”
- We saw a lot of Leroy, which is the greatest understatement since Noah called the weather bureau and got a recording predicting light showers and drizzle.
- I know enough about sex to know that when bicarbonate enters the room. . . love flies out of the window.
- Phone are wonderful instruments, but I wouldn’t want our daughter to marry one.
- He also had the subtlety of a blonde on a bar stool holding an unlighted cigarette.
- It is upsetting to many parents that their teen-agers introduce them to their friends as encyclopedia salesmen who are just passing through. . . if they introduce them at all.
- The saddest teen-ager I ever knew was Stuart Stark, whose parents bridged the generation gap.
- My son did not show signs of a money deficiency until he opened his small fist in the nursery and found it was empty.
- ...emptying the garbage, cleaning your room (which is almost the same thing).
- DON’T LET YOUR MOLARS BE DROPOUTS: SEE YOUR DENTIST AT 1:30 THURSDAY.
- She’s the one with the flat stomach who must have carried her babies in a shopping bag for nine months.
- ’Happy Interlude’ was written yesterday morning, hit the charts by eleven o’clcok, was in the top ten by three in the afternoon and as of nine o’clock last night was a Goldie Oldie.
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