Humorous Quotes attributed to Lily Tomlin
1939- , American Comedienne, Actress
- At the moment you are most in awe of all there is about life that you
don't understand, you are closer to understanding it all than at any
- For fast-acting relief try slowing down.
- I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific.
- If love is the answer, could you please rephrase the question?
- If the formula for water is H2O, is the formula for an ice cube H2O
- If you're read a lot of books you're considered well read. But if you've watched a lot of TV, you're not considered well viewed.
- Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain.
- Ninety eight percent of the adults in this country are decent, hardworking, honest Americans. It's the other lousy two percent that get all the publicity. But then, we elected them.
- Reality is a crutch for people who can't handle drugs.
- Reality is the leading cause of stress among those in touch with it.
- Reality is nothing but a collective hunch.
- Sometimes I worry about being a success in a mediocre world.
- The best mind-altering drug is the truth.
- The trouble with the rat race is that even if you win, you're still a rat.
- We have reason to believe that man first walked upright to free his
hands for masturbation.
- Why is it that when we talk to God we're said to be praying, but when God talks to us we're schizophrenic?
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