Humorous Quotes from
Love and Marriage
By Bill Cosby
- A boy today would read the Kinsey Report at the age of nine (if he wanted something a little less sexual than the evening news) and then tell his mother where the book required updating.
- Since self-deception is the heart of falling in love, perhaps the best sex
education for a boy is not studying drawings of reproductive systems but simply learning to lie to himself.
- If faces had been meant to kiss each other, they would not have been given noses.
- The first time I came across the birds and the bees in actual flight, I
couldn't identify the formation.
- Today, even prepubescent children are watching anatomical lessons on MTV, a channel that my father would have been arrested for watching in 1947.
- Any husband who says, "My wife and I are completely equal partners" is talking either about a law firm or a hand of bridge.
- If any man truly believes that he is the boss of his house, then let him do
this: pick up the phone, call a wall-paper store, order new wallpaper for one of the rooms in his house, and then put it on. He would have a longer life expectancy sprinkling arsenic on his eggs.
- In spite of what Thomas Jefferson wrote, all men may be created equal, but not to all women.
- Through all the years of my marriage, my love for Camille, like my stomach, has steadily grown.
- The experts on marriage, most of whom are divorced, like to say that marital fighting is good because it clears the air.
- Women are prone to irrationality just before menstruation. Men, on the other hand, have a nice evenness to their irrationality. They can be just as crazy at Easter as they are on Veterans Day.
- Camille and I do have many things in common besides our both being afraid of the children.
- Women do not trust people of a foreign sex.
- You just never know when and where to bite, blow, kiss, pat or rub. Women should come with directions.
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