Humorous Quotes from
If you want to make God really Laugh, Show Him your Business Plan
By Barry Gibbons

Favorite Long Quote/Extract
Tread carefully, gentle reader, as you contemplate your own company relationship strategy. The price of getting this wrong remains high, as the little ant found out when he fell in love with a female elephant. His love was not in vain and they had a glorious night of passion together, but he (the ant) woke next morning to the tragic (and large) sight of his partner lying dead. The little guy was inconsolable, not only for his lost partner but for what lay ahead for him. Through the tears he reached for his shovel, and his words still haunt us all: “I had one night of heaven, and I’ll spend the rest of my life digging a grave.”

Completely unexplainable success is far preferable to sophisticated reasons for failure.

Get yourself quickly into a position where you are 80 percent confident you are right, then make the decision. Another two years of research will probably only move your confidence level to 83 percent.

The ossified decision making of the Vatican has led the way for centuries (remember it was only recently that they ratified the sixteenth-century finding of Copernicus).

He (Prince Charles) is a dear friend and I know he looks very worthy in his kilt, but I fear there are character flaws. How else do you explain the fact that after every occasion that he has been to our house for luncheon, I have this urge to count the forks?

I was the happiest CEO in the U.S. when McD’s introduced the McLean. My ingoing position on the subject (which has remained intact) is that seaweed and hamburgers each need their own space. A long way away from each other.

Regularly jolt (or startle) your customer into recognizing (or remembering) how good you are. A sloth’s orgasm is (roughly) the impact you should seek.

Apart from Garibaldi (who invented a biscuit), the famous Second World War tank they developed (which retreated faster than it went forward), and Mussolini (who invented four million soldiers by assuming he had five million in his army when he declared war in 1941), the Italians are not noted for a history of innovation.

I give you the emperor Nero, who many believe is famous only for fiddling while Rome burned, but whose real claim to fame makes that pale by comparison. He was the first guy to purify water by boiling it, an act, I'm sure you’ll agree, of somebody blessed with an innovative, analytical mind. If he were alive today, he would already be working on Windows 2111.

In business, a permanent state of restlessness is a wonderful disease to have.

Why can they not seem to share moments of demented male joy? On the rare occasions my soccer team puts the ball in the correct goal (i.e., the opposition’s), I leap about in my seat and make Jim Carrey look like a resigning Japanese finance minister. My wife’s contribution to the proceedings is to try very hard to humor me with a supportive smile.

To develop an innovative culture, you need to hire some Jack Nicholsons in your team’s mix. (That’s Jack in The Shining.) It’s not always comfortable, but you need some weird minds in there with you – minds that, if they were soup, you’d eat with a long spoon.

If you have been offered a new job, pause to figure out which of your strengths have been identified in relation to the challenge ahead. Then be sensible enough not to abandon them.

At the start of the 1990s if you had put a laptop on my desk, I would have thanked you and attempted to get coffee out of it. Now I use one every day.

When you’ve assembled your war chest for IT training, start with the CEO. Ignore the screams.

For every minute you spend on the problem, spend five minutes on the future; talk about the past and problems without charts and sophisticated backup, but be as detailed as you need to be and use whatever support material you want to talk about the future and the solution.

When Nick Leeson (the hero who brought down Baring’s Bank) scuttled form Singapore to Munich in an attempt to escape justice, he became the first fugitive in history to flee toward Germany.

When I met my wife more than thirty years ago I knew instantly that this was the woman with whom I wished to share the rest of my bed...This line will cost me... but I can't resist it.

An alliance cannot gave a winner and a loser. If it does, it must be called something else.

Suggestion boxes cannot replace open communication and sound-sensitive management processes. If you’ve already got the boxes, I suggest you put plants in ‘em.

We were born with two eyes, two ears, and one mouth. That’s four organs to receive information and one to give it out. That’s a pretty good ratio to work with for a sound-sensitive management process, and (roughly) the opposite of what most executives feel is an effective communication mix.

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Humorous Quotes from If you want to make God really Laugh, Show Him your Business PlanBy Barry Gibbons

Have you checked out this super book? Click Here

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Humorous Quotes from
If you want to make God really Laugh, Show Him your Business Plan
By Barry Gibbons

Have you checked out
this super book?

Click Here

Have you checked out
this super audiobook?

Click Here