Humorous Quotes attributed to Mickey Rooney
1920- , American Actor
- A lot of people have asked me how short I am. Since my last divorce, I think I'm about $100, 000 short.
- Alimony is a big business! It's big business! It's bigger than the A and P! Bigger than the Mafia! It's the fastest-growing business in America! (Life is Too Short)
- Always get married in the morning. That way if it doesn't work out, you
haven't wasted the whole day.
- Had I been brighter, the ladies been gentler, the Scotch been weaker, had the gods been kinder, had the dice been hotter, this could have been a one-sentence story: Once upon a time I lived happily ever after.
- I'm in pretty good shape for the shape I'm in. (at age 58)
- I've always enjoyed the lights of the theater, no wonder that even now, when I open a refrigerator door, I feel like performing. (Life is Too Short)
- I'm not an angel and certainly I've made a million mistakes, you know. And I hope I'm around long enough to make a million more. (Life is Too Short)
- I buy women shoes and they use them to walk away from me.
- I told them (reporters) I had a marriage license that I kept with me at all
times. It was made out to "To Whom It May Concern." (Life is Too Short)
- So now I was real actor. It was official. The New York Times said so. (Life is Too Short)
- The audience and I are friends. They allowed me to grow up with them. I've let them down several times. They've let me down several times. But we're all family.
- Women liked me because I made them laugh. What is an orgasm, after all, except laughter of the loins? (Life is Too Short)
- You always pass failure on the way to success.
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