Humorous Quotes from
Marx Brothers' Monkey Business
- Groucho: You're just wasting your breath, and that's
no great loss, either.
- Groucho: Don't you know what vessel is?
Chico: Sure, I can vessel... [starts whistling]
- Groucho: Do you suppose I could buy back my
introduction to you?
- Groucho: Madam, before I get through with you, you
will have a clear case for divorce and so will my wife.
- Groucho: Do you think that girls think less of a boy
if he lets himself be kissed?
- Groucho: If you're gonna kill me, hurry up. I have
to take my tonic at two.
- Chico: My grandfather's great. He's a
- Groucho: Afraid? Me? A man who's licked his weight
in wild caterpillars? Afraid? . . . You bet I'm afraid.
- Zeppo: Don't you think we'd better go?
Groucho: What, and leave this woman alone with her husband?
- Maxine Castle: I don't like this innuendo.
Groucho: That's what I always say. Love flies out the door when money
- Groucho: You call this a party? The beer is warm,
the women are cold and I'm hot under the collar.
- Thelma Todd: Oh, no, no, no, don't. My husband might be inside, and if he
finds me out here he'll wallop me.
Groucho: Always thinking of your husband. Couldn't I wallop you just as well?
- Groucho: Oh, why can't we break away from all this,
just you and I, and lodge with my fleas in the hills ... (Thelma Todd looks at
him doubtfully) ... I mean flee to my lodge in the hills.
- Groucho: I've known and respected your husband for
many years... and what's good enough for him is good enough for me.
- Thelma Todd: I've been married for four years. Four years of neglect, four
years of battling, four years of battling . . .
Groucho: That makes twelve years. You must have been married in rompers.
- Groucho: Oh gosh, the picnic is off. We haven't got any red ants.
Chico: I know an Indian who's got a couple of red aunts.
- Chico: Take your face out of my foot!
- Groucho : (doing a running commentary on a street fight) Both boys are
fiddling in the middle of the ring, and I don't think much of the tune.
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