Humorous Quotes about
Mothers / Motherhood

The Usual Tributes :

Take motherhood: nobody ever thought of putting it on a moral pedestal until some brash feminists pointed out, about a century ago, that the pay is lousy and the career ladder nonexistent. ~ Barbara Ehrenreich

Perhaps I should have pointed out more often that without her (mother's) guidance and example I might have gone straight from short pants to Long Bay Gaol, which in those days was still in use and heavily populated by larcenous young men who had chosen their parents less wisely. ~ Clive James (Falling towards England)

Mother's love is peace. It need not be acquired, it need not be deserved. ~ Erich Fromm

Life began with waking up and loving my mother's face. ~ George Eliot

Mothers are the most instinctive philosophers. ~ Harriet Beecher Stowe

A man loves his sweetheart the most, his wife the best, but his mother the longest. ~ Irish proverb

God couldn't be everywhere, so he created mothers ~ Jewish Proverb

Most of all the other beautiful things in life come by twos and threes by dozens and hundreds. Plenty of roses, stars, sunsets, rainbows, brothers, and sisters, aunts and cousins, but only one mother in the whole world. ~ Kate Douglas Wiggin

Being a full-time mother is one of the highest salaried jobs... since the payment is pure love. ~ Mildred B. Vermont

An ounce of mother is worth a pound of clergy. ~ Spanish Proverb

A mother is a person who seeing there are only four pieces of pie for five people, promptly announces she never did care for pie. ~ Tenneva Jordan

All mothers are working mothers. ~ Unknown

A Freudian slip is when you say one thing but mean your mother. ~ Unknown

What do we call these ...? DisTributes?? :-)

Women who miscalculate are called mothers. ~ Abigail Van Buren

The lullaby is the spell whereby the mother attempts to transform herself back from an ogre to a saint. ~ James Fenton

Only in America do these peasants, our mothers, get their hair dyed platinum at the age of sixty, and walk up and down Collins Avenue in Florida in pedal pushers and mink stoles -- and with opinions on every subject under the sun. It isn't their fault they were given a gift like speech -- look, if cows could talk, they would say things just as idiotic. ~ Philip Roth

Motherhood is the strangest thing, it can be like being one's own Trojan horse. ~ Rebecca West

Mothers at present can bring children into the world, but this performance is apt to mark the end of their capacities. They can't even attend to the elementary animal requirements of their offspring. It is quite surprising how many children survive in spite of their mothers. ~ Norman Douglas

Parents are the last people on earth who ought to have children. ~ H.E Bell

The best thing that could happen to motherhood already has. Fewer women are going into it. ~ Victoria Billings

There may be some doubt as to who are the best people to have charge of children, but there can be no doubt that parents are the worst. ~ William Morris

Few misfortunes can befall a boy which bring worse consequences than to have a really affectionate mother. ~ W. Somerset Maugham

Personal Tributes :

All that I am or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother. No man is poor who has a godly mother. ~ Abraham Lincoln

I attribute all my success in life to the moral, intellectual and physical education which I received from my mother. ~ George Washington

My mother had a great deal of trouble with me, but I think she enjoyed it. ~ Mark Twain

My mother was the making of me. ~ Thomas Alva Edison

Neutral Territory? :-)

Maternity is a matter of fact, paternity is a matter of opinion. ~ American Proverb

Clearly, society has a tremendous stake in insisting on a woman's natural fitness for the career of mother: the alternatives are all too expensive. ~ Ann Oakley

The reason why mothers are more devoted to their children than fathers: it is that they suffer more in giving them birth and are more certain that they are their own. ~ Aristotle

A mother is not a person to lean on but person to make leaning unnecessary. ~ Dorothy Canfield Fisher

I take a very practical view of raising children. I put a sign in each of their rooms: ''Checkout Time is 18 years.'' ~ Erma Bombeck

Remember, you can lead a fifty-seven-year-old body to motherhood, but you can't make it stay awake. ~ Erma Bombeck (All I know about Animal Behavior...)

The most important thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother ~ Henry Ward Beecher

The Final Word ! :-)-

You' re not famous until my mother has heard of you. ~ Jay Leno

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