Humorous Quotes from
Robin Williams Movies

In Moscow we fought for an inch of freedom! Here (New York) you take it and pour sh*t all over it. ~ Moscow on the Hudson

Goooooooood morning, Vietnam! Hey, this is not a test! This is rock and roll! ~ Good Morning, Vietnam

You know, you're very beautiful. You're also very quiet. And I'm not used to girls being that quiet unless they're medicated. Normally I go out with girls who talk so much you could hook them up to a wind turbine and they could power a small New Hampshire town. ~ Good Morning, Vietnam

Hey, we're back. That last two seconds of silence was Marcel Marceau's newest hit single, "Walkin In The Wind." ~ Good Morning, Vietnam

Here's a news flash: Today President Lyndon Johnson passed a highway beautification bill. The bill basically said that his daughters could not drive in a convertible on public highways. ~ Good Morning, Vietnam

Mr. Meeks, time to inherit the earth. ~ Dead Poet's Society

So avoid using the word 'very' because it's lazy. A man is not very tired, he is exhausted. Don't use very sad, use morose. Language was invented for one reason, boys--to woo women--and, in that endeavor, laziness will not do. It also won't do in your essays. ~ Dead Poet's Society

Plato, a gifted man like myself, said, "Only the contest made me a poet, a sophist, an orator." ~ Dead Poet's Society

A woman is a cathedral, boys. Worship at one every chance you get. ~ Dead Poet's Society

You know what you are - you're an ass-half... Takes two of you to make an ass-whole. ~ Cadillac Man

Eat what? There's nothing here! Gandhi ate more than this! ~ Hook

Go pump some neurons. Expand your craniums. ~ Mrs. Doubtfire

But He broke the mould when He made me, dear. He made me very special. ~ Mrs. Doubtfire

This guy used to put me to sleep when I was a kid. They should have a disclaimer that says "Do Not Operate Heavy Machinery While Watching This Show". ~ Mrs. Doubtfire

As in the words of Porky pig, pi pi pi pi piss off Lou! ~ Mrs. Doubtfire

If it's not one thing, it's your mother. ~ Nine Months

You have a girl. Unless I cut the wrong cord. ~ Nine Months

There are things that hunt you in the night. Then something screams. Then you hear them eating, and you hope to God that you're not dessert. ~ Jumanji

So this is Hell. And there's a crucifix in it. ~ The Birdcage

And I thought, "what the hell, let's try it once with a woman and see what those straight guys are raving about." ~ The Birdcage

It's like riding a psychotic horse toward a burning stable. ~ The Birdcage

You're going to the cemetery with your toothbrush. How Egyptian. ~ The Birdcage

Albert, these people are right-wing conservatives. They don't care if you're a pig, they just care if you're a fag! ~ The Birdcage

Don't worry about that. I'm very maternal. And Albert's practically a breast. ~ The Birdcage

See you Monday. We'll be talking about Freud and why he did enough cocaine to kill a small horse. ~ Good Will Hunting

You're not perfect sport, and let me save you the suspense, this girl you've met she's not perfect either. But the question is whether or not you're perfect for each other. ~ Good Will Hunting

I love you with every cell, with every atom. I love you on a subatomic level. ~ Flubber

I was just gonna, you know, grade my lunch, eat a few tests and hope for the best. ~ Flubber

And my report will read IDGARA: I don't give a rat's ass. ~ Patch Adams

(When Monica Potter ignores his greeting 'Hi, I'm Patch) You've just experienced a North American greeting whereby one person offers a verbal label to another as a gesture of welcome and friendship. ~ Patch Adams

Just now when I said I have a crush on you you didn't say no way loser. I'd rather have a lobotomy by a leper. That means something. ~ Patch Adams

What's the difference between a doctor and a scientist and don't say the salary. ~ Patch Adams

We can head on down to the maternity ward. You know those chicks put out. ~ Patch Adams

(As Monica Potter walks away after a disagreement) I'm really starting to love the back of your head. ~ Patch Adams

Pretend it's all pretend. ~ One Hour Photo

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