Humorous Quotes from
Jeff Foxworthy's
Games Rednecks Play

I hadn't been this excited since the last Victoria's Secret catalogue came in the mail.

The underwear they make these days is so skimpy Victoria doesn't have a whole lot of secrets left.

Growing up, my mom used to fuss at me. She'd say "you keep wearing those boxer shorts your thing's going to hang down to your knees." So what's the downside of the argument here?

My whole thought is The Olympics in Georgia (1996) ... God you know we're going to screw that up! I guarantee you when they let those doves go at the opening ceremony there are going to be guys in the parking lot with shotguns! ... And we will not have a flame that big without a pig on it!

If I'm around my family for more than a week I start having fantasies that maybe I'm adopted !

If you're growing up and your parents aren't crazy you got to ask yourself - "Where did I go wrong?"

As a parent when you have sex your body emits a harmone that will drift down the hall, into your child's room and make them want a drink of water.

You learn a lot from your kids. Like, just a few days ago I learnt that you can get three boxes of raisins into the cassette player of a jeep. I didn't know that !

Our oldest child has discovered the little silver handle on the back of the toilet. She's making more things disappear than David Copperfield.

The rule around our house is, if it ain't broke it ain't ours !

When you're young and you get to choose between sleep and sex you take sex everytime. You start getting older, you get to choose between sleep and sex, you choose sleep and just hope you have a dream about sex.

I took myself out of the gene pool about eleven weeks ago. Went and got the little snip, took the bullets out of the gun. Now you can point it at anybody, they don't care.

Wasn't mooning a great sport? Nobody ever got hurt. You didn't have to be in shape to play. The fatter you were the more you brought to the window.

It's not a desirable job (designated driver), but if you ever get sucked into doing it, have fun with it. At the end of the night, drop them off at the wrong house.

Drunks will give you money for anything. Cram as many of them as you can fit into your car. On the way home stop at every gas station you come to, get out pretend like you're putting gas in the car, make them pay for a full damn tank. You make 4-5 hundred dollars in a 10 mile stretch.

If you've been married 3 times and still have the same in-laws, you might be a redneck.

If you've ever been accused of lying through your tooth, you might be a redneck.

If somebody hollers hoedown and your girlfriend hits the floor, you might be a redneck.

Have you checked out
this super audio cd?

Click Here

Back to Humorous Quotes

Visit my other sites... www.exwz.com and www.jkjquotes.com

Custom Search