Humorous Quotes attributed to Ronald Reagan
1911 - 2004, 40th President of The United States
- ...a pile of that stuff that the late Mrs.
Truman said it had taken her 35 years to get Harry to call 'fertilizer.
- (baseball is) our national pastime, that is
if you discount political campaigning.
- But there are advantages to being elected
President. The day after I was elected, I had my high school grades
classified Top Secret.
- Cures were developed for which there were no
known diseases. (On Congress and the federal budget, 1981)
- Facts are stupid things.
- Government does not solve problems. It subsidizes
them. (A speech on 11th December, 1972.)
- Government is like a big baby: an alimentary
canal, with a big appetite at one end and no responsibility at the
- Government is not the solution to our
problem, government is the problem. (First Inaugural Address)
- Government's view of the economy could be summed up in a few short
phrases: If it moves, tax it. If it keeps moving, regulate it. And if it stops
moving, subsidize it. (White House Conference on Small Business, August,
- His (A hippy's) hair was cut like Tarzan, he acted like Jane and he
smelled like Cheetah.
- How do you tell a communist? Well, it's
someone who reads Marx and Lenin. And how do you tell an anti-communist?
It's someone who understands Marx and Lenin. (in Arlington, Virginia,
September 25, 1987)
- Howard Baker ... told me on the steps of the
Capitol, at the time of the inaugural, "Mr. President, I want you to
know I will be with you through thick." and I said, "What about
thin?" and he said, "Welcome to Washington."
- I am not worried about the deficit. It is
big enough to take care of itself.
- I found myself telling every visitor there
were absolutely no tape recordings being made. And if they wanted a
transcript of that remark, just mention it to the potted plant on their way
out. (Speech to Annual CPAC, 1982)
- I have left orders to be awakened at any
time in case of national emergency, even if I'm in a cabinet meeting.
- I have wondered at times what the Ten
Commandments would have looked like if Moses had run them through the U.S.
- I hope you're all Republicans. (To
surgeons as he entered the operating room, March, 1981)
- I know the long hours that many of you have
put in. And I can only tell you that if I could manage it, I would schedule
a cabinet meeting so that we could all go over and take a nap together.
- I was going to have an opening statement,
but I decided that what I was going to say I wanted to get a lot of
attention, so I'm going to wait and leak it.
- I will not make age an issue of this
campaign. I am not going to exploit, for political purposes, my opponent's
youth and inexperience. (When doubts were raised if we was too old for re-election)
- I wouldn't even complain if a stray ball
came through the Oval Office window now and then.
- (in the West Wing of the White House)
There's the problem of leaks. Before we even announced the giveaway of
surplus cheese, the warehouse mice had hired a lobbyist. (Speech to
Annual CPAC, 1982)
- I've learned in Washington, that that's the
only place where sound travels faster than light.
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- I've noticed that everybody who is for
abortion has already been born.
- Just to show you how youthful I am, I intend
to campaign in all 13 states.
- My fellow Americans, I am pleased to tell
you I just signed legislation which outlaws Russia forever. The bombing will
begin in five minutes. (During radio microphone test)
- No government ever voluntarily reduces
itself in size. Government programs, once launched, never disappear.
Actually, a government bureau is the nearest thing to eternal life we'll
ever see on this earth!
- Politics is not a bad profession. If you
succeed there are many rewards, if you disgrace yourself you can always
write a book.
- Recession is when a neighbor loses his job.
Depression is when you lose yours.
- She's the best man in England. (on
- Status quo, you know, that is Latin for
"the mess we're in."
- The last bunch of pickets were carrying
signs that said 'Make love, not war.' The only trouble was they didn't look
capable of doing either.
- The nine most terrifying words in the
English language are, "I'm from the government and I'm here to help."
- The other day someone told me the difference
between a democracy and a people's democracy. It's the same difference
between a jacket and a straitjacket. (at Human Rights Day event, December
- The United States has much to offer the Third World War.
- Today, if you invent a better mousetrap, the
government comes along with a better mouse.
- We have long since discovered that nothing
lasts longer than a temporary government programme.
- We have so many people who can't see a fat
man standing beside a thin one without coming to the conclusion that the fat
man got that way by taking advantage of the thin one!
- When you see all that rhetorical smoke
billowing up from the Democrats, well, ladies and gentleman, I'd follow the
example of their nominee: don't inhale. (Republican National Convention,
- You don't have to spend much time in
Washington to appreciate the prophetic vision of the man who designed all the streets there. They go in circles.
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