Humorous Quotes attributed to Ross Perot 1930- , American Businessman, Independant Presidential Candidate
Anyone who needs a chauffeur to drive him to work is probably too old to be on the payroll.
Be careful about picking a fight with people who buy ink by the barrel and paper by the ton.
Eagles don't flock. You have to find them one at a time.
Failures are like skinned knees - painful but superficial.
Get up in the morning and look in the mirror. You're your own job
Go to Austin and sit in on a meeting [of the Texas State Board of Education]. It costs you $5 to see a movie that funny. They got people on that board who think the earth is flat.
I can't think of anything worse than a person in my position to be grasping for some tax advantage. I'm delighted to pay big taxes. Big taxes means big income.
I had several memorable experiences with GM. One, it just drove me crazy that when a customer had a problem with a defective engine, we wanted to treat it as a class action suit rather than fix the engine.
I haven't sold anybody over lunch in my whole life. There's nothing worse than driving home a point when a guy's fiddling with his salad.
I pay taxes on all the money before it goes into the [Perot Foundation]. I think the federal government is a charitable cause, too.
I thought I was living pretty good until I found a school system that had
towel warmers and towel coolers for the football team.
I used odd numbers like $5,128 in those days to make it look like I knew exactly what I was doing and had figured everything down to the last penny.
If we did not have such a thing as an airplane today, we would probably
create something the size of NASA to make one. It's good thing the Wright Brothers didn't know any better when they made the machine fly.
If voters don't have a stomach for me, they can get one of those blow-dried guys.
If you're a fifth grade math teacher and you can't knock the top out of a
fifth grade math test, you're in trouble as a fifth grade math teacher.
I'm excess baggage on this company now. I could shake hands with everyone today and never come back, and you would never see the difference.
I'm not a living legend. I'm just a myth.
In a recent worldwide algebra test we ranked 14th out of 15 nations tested. If it makes you feel any better, we beat Thailand.
[In Moscow] we got through to [Soviet leaders] Brezhnev and Kosygin on the telephone. I think it was because nobody had ever tried to call them at home before.
Inventories can be managed, but people must be led.
Simple Solutions in 'Life'
Ranchers would sit there with their hats pulled down, squintin' and
listenin'. I'd tell them it costs more to keep a man in the penitentiary
than it does to send him to Harvard. One old guy stands up, pushes his hat
back and says, 'Hell' Ross, the answer's simple. Send those jailbirds to
- Life. February 1988
It takes five years to develop a new car in this country. Heck, we won World War II in four years.
It's time we stopped talking about making the best cars. It's time to make them.
I've had guys come in [At EDS] and say, 'I've just got to be a vice
president.' And I say, 'Fine, you are.' 'Give me a purple robe.' 'No, a
purple robe costs a little money.' Titles cost nothing. Titles mean nothing.
Japan is our rival, not our enemy. Japan is a competitor... Bashing a Toyota won't make a better car.
Let's assume you've got the goose that lays the golden egg. Then I would study that goose and say, 'How can I get him to lay two?' Not, 'Should we have him for Thanksgiving dinner?'
Let's just hunker down and beat [the Japanese] on blocking and tackling. That is how they beat us. Our solution is to go out and buy new uniforms. The team looks good, but it still can't play.
Most of you haven't married yet, so here's my advice. Be careful. Be sure. If you're not sure, just hold off a while. It's kind of like buses, there's another one by every 15 minutes, and you can have a lot of fun looking. (Commencement address, Austin College. 1989)
Nobody gets paid extra for staying alive. (On seniority-based raises for
Nothing ever comes up that's relevant to the issues. Pretty soon, people
are going to want to know how many mosquitoes I have in my house.
Now the average citizen can't relate to a billion or a trillion. A million
dollars in thousand-dollar bills is a stack of 1000$ bills, four inches
high. A billion dollars in 1000$ bills is 300 feet high. A trillion dollars
in 1000$ bills extends from the top of [this] table to 63 miles out in
Revitalizing GM is like teaching an elephant to tap-dance. You find the
sensitive spots and start poking.
Since 1968 there have been all these theories that I was running for this,
that or the other. This country has enough problems without inflicting me on it.
Success is like Halley's comet, you know. Every now and then it just comes around.
The activist is not the man who says the river is dirty. The activist is the
man who cleans up the river.
The dinosaur, for the average fellow like me, is the best example. He got so big he couldn't function. Big is not beautiful. We in America like to think big is beautiful. Big is inefficient.
The first EDSer to see a snake kills it. At GM, the first thing you do is
organize a committee on snakes. Then you bring in a consultant who knows a lot about snakes. Third thing you do is talk about it for a year.
There are people who climb into the ring and there are people who sit in the stands. Those who sit in the stands always seem to know more about the game than those in the ring.
There is no accountability in the public school system- except for coaches. You know what happens to a losing coach. You fire him. A losing teacher can go on losing for 30 years and then go to glory.
There's only two places in the world a 28-year-old can make half a million a year. That's selling dope and dealing in junk bonds. They're both destroying our country.
Things were so good in those days at IBM that a salesman could get rich as long as he didn't get drunk during the day. It didn't take a miracle worker to get somewhere.
We don't like government business. We don't do any business direct with the government. Because to the government a horse is an animal with four legs, a head, and a tail, whether it's a jack-ass or a race horse.
We've got a patient whose heart has stopped beating and has broken fingers and toes, and all the politicians want to talk about is the fingers and toes. I want to go straight to the heart.
When the history of junk bonds is written, I think the fist sentence should be, 'Junk bonds, by definition, were junk.
Your country is like your children. It's fundamentally important that you
love them, but you need to work on any problems that come along.
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