Humorous Quotes attributed to Scott Adams
1957- , American Cartoonist, Creator of Dilbert

A good metaphor can make any bad idea sound good. (Seven years of Highly Defective People)

As a rule, anything in a binder has very little value, except as building material. (Seven years of Highly Defective People)

All vendor demos are boring. It's the law, I think. (Seven years of Highly Defective People)

Consultants have credibility because they are not dumb enough to work at your company.

Creativity is allowing oneself to make mistakes. Art is knowing which ones to keep. (The Dilbert Principle)

Every company is better than your own. It's a rule of the universe. (Seven years of Highly Defective People)

I have to turn the paper upside down to draw Dilbert upside down. (Seven years of Highly Defective People)

I never knew what an engineer did for a living when I was a kid. I still don't. (Seven years of Highly Defective People)

I prefer the "playful despot" form of government. (Seven years of Highly Defective People)

I was raised in the country, where touching meant you're standing on the same carpet. Any closer and you're engaged. (Seven years of Highly Defective People)

If hypnosis worked, wouldn't all the leaders be hypnotists? What if they are? (Seven years of Highly Defective People)

I'm a wanna-be inventor. I'm still working on my perpetual motion machine. Ironically, I can't seem to stop. (Seven years of Highly Defective People)

Imagine an advanced race of aliens who talk to the average human; Do you think they'll be impressed ? (Seven years of Highly Defective People)

It's funny to me that I have to prove to the banks that I'M honest. (Seven years of Highly Defective People)

Managers are like cats in a litter box. They instinctively shuffle things around to conceal what they've done.

My pet peeve is that salespeople always steer me to the cheapest items. (Seven years of Highly Defective People)

Next week, a doctor with a flashlight shows us where sales projections come from.

Reporters are faced with the daily choice of painstakingly researching stories or writing whatever people tell them. Both approaches pay the same. (The Dilbert Principle)

The spokespeople for tobacco companies always look half dead. The Surgeon General should make them put their pictures on every pack. (Seven years of Highly Defective People)

There's a reason that executives lie. The alternative is worse ! (Seven years of Highly Defective People)

Why do beards stop at the neck? I spend a lot of time wondering that. (Seven years of Highly Defective People)

When I was a kid, my grandmother convinced me that brown eggs were tastier. Now I just wonder what route they took through the hen. (Seven years of Highly Defective People)

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