Humorous Quotes about
Statistics

An unsophisticated forecaster uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts - for support rather than for illumination. ~ Andrew Lang

There are three kinds of lies: Lies, Damn Lies, and Statistics.
~ ~~Mark Twain~~ ; ~~Benjamin Disraeli~~
(Check Correct Attribution - http://www.york.ac.uk/depts/maths/histstat/lies.htm)

Like other occult techniques of divination, the statistical method has a private jargon deliberately contrived to obscure its methods from non-practitioners. ~ G. O. Ashley

I can prove anything by statistics - except the truth. ~ George Canning

I could prove God statistically. ~ George Gallup

Statistics are no substitute for judgment. ~ Henry Clay

A single death is a tragedy. A million deaths is a statistic. ~ Joseph Stalin

It has long been recognized by public men of all kinds . . . that statistics come under the head of lying, and that no lie is so false or inconclusive as that which is based on statistics. ~ Hilarie Belloc (The Silence of the Sea)

It is commonly believed that anyone who tabulates numbers is a statistician. This is like believing that anyone who owns a scalpel is a surgeon. ~ Hooke R. (How to Tell the Liars from the Statisticians)

The manipulation of statistical formulas is no substitute for knowing what one is doing. ~ Hubert M Blalock Jr (Social Statistics)

Facts are stubborn things, but statistics are more pliable. ~ Laurence Peter

I abhor averages. I like the individual case. A man may have six meals one day and none the next, making an average of three meals per day, but that is not a good way to live. ~ Louis D. Brandeis

Fate laughs at probabilities. ~ Lytton E.G Bulwer

Figures often beguile me, particularly when I have the arranging of them myself; in which case the remark attributed to Disraeli would often apply with justice and force: "There are three kinds of lies: lies, damned lies, and statistics." ~ Mark Twain

There are two kinds of statistics, the kind you look up,and the kind you make up. ~ Rex Stout

Averages don't always reveal the most telling realities. You know, Shaquille O'Neal and I have an average height of 6 feet. ~ U.S. Labor Secretary Robert Reich ( He is 4' 10" tall? whereas US basketball star Shaquille O’Neal is 7’1” tall! )

I always find that statistics are hard to follow and impossible to digest.The only one I can ever remember is that if all the people who go to sleep in church were laid end to end they would be a lot more comfortable. ~ Mrs. Robert A. Taft

A fool must now and then be right, by chance.
~ William Cowper (Cowper : Poetical Works)

[an error occurred while processing this directive]

Back to Humorous Quotes

Visit my other sites... www.exwz.com and www.jkjquotes.com