Humorous Quotes attributed to Tallulah Bankhead
1903-1968, American Actress
- A frozen daiquiri of a scorching afternoon is soothing. It makes living more tolerable. (Tallulah, My Autobiography)
- Before we pursue this delicate subject further it might be wise to define intoxication. If you wake up in bed with your hat on you, it's my guess you may have been addled on retirement. (Tallulah, My Autobiography)
- Cocaine isn't habit forming. I should know-I've been using it for years.
- Don't be taken in by the guff that critics are killing the theater. Commonly they sin on the side of enthusiasm. Too often they give their blessing to trash. (Tallulah, My Autobiography)
- Drink reacts on its practitioners in conflicting ways. One brave can knock off a quart of Scotch and look and act as sober as Herbert Hoover. Another, after three Martinis, makes two-cushion carroms off the chaise longue as he attempts to negotiate the bathroom. (Tallulah, My Autobiography)
- Dying together's even more personal than living together. (Lifeboat)
- I did what I could to inflate the rumor I was on my way to stardom. What I was on my way to, by any mathematical standards known to man was oblivion, by way of obscurity. (Tallulah, My Autobiography)
- I have three phobias which, could I mute them, would make my life as slick as a sonnet, but as dull as ditch water: I hate to go to bed, I hate to get up, and I hate to be alone.
- I think the Republican party should be placed in drydock and have the barnacles scraped off its bottom. (Tallulah, My Autobiography)
- I'm as pure as the driven slush.
- I'm not at my best when I start to moralize or philosophize. Logic is elusive, especially to one who so rarely uses it. (Tallulah, My Autobiography)
- I've tried several varieties of sex. The conventional position makes me
claustrophobic and the others give me a stiff neck or lockjaw.
- I was all for suing the newspaper PM and one of its feature writers, Robert Rice, son of Elmer Rice, the playwright, for hinting that my consumption was running well ahead of the output of the distilleries. (Tallulah, My Autobiography)
- If I had my life to live again. I'd make the same mistakes, only sooner.
- If you really want to help the American theater, don't be an actress,
dahling. Be an audience.
- It's one of the tragic ironies of the theatre that only one man in it can
count on steady work -- the night watchman.
- It's the good girls who keep diaries; the bad girls never have the time.
- Let's face it, my dears, I have been tight as a tick! Fried as a mink! Stiff as a goat! But I'm no toper. No tosspot. (Tallulah, My Autobiography)
- Let's not quibble! I'm the foe of moderation, the champion of excess. If I may lift a line from a die-hard whose identity is lost in the shuffle, ''I'd
rather be strongly wrong than weakly right." (Tallulah, My Autobiography)
- My father warned me about men and booze but he never said anything about women and cocaine.
- My progress reminded me of the horses in The Whip. They raced at the limit of their speed directly toward the audience. But they raced on a treadmill which canceled out their progress. (Tallulah, My Autobiography)
- Nobody can be exactly like me. Sometimes even I have trouble doing it.
- The less I behave like Whistler's mother the night before, the more I look like her the morning after.
- They used to photograph Shirley Temple through gauze. They should photograph me through linoleum.
- When I get hold of her (Bette Davis), I'll tear out every hair of her
- Working on television is like being shot out of a cannon. They cram you all up with rehearsals, then someone lights a fuse and -BANG- there you are in someone's living room.
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