Humorous Quotes attributed to Bob Hope
1903-2003, American Actor, Comedian

Eisenhower admitted that the budget can't be balanced and McCarthy says the communists are taking over. You don't know what to worry about these days ... whether the country will be overthrown or overdrawn.

Golf is a game that needlessly prolongs the lives of some of our most useless citizens.

I do benefits for all religions -- I'd hate to blow the hereafter on a technicality.

I don't bother to look for parking space anymore. As soon as I get near Hollywood Boulevard ... I sell.

I grew up with six brothers. That's how I learned to dance -waiting for the bathroom.

I have a wonderful make-up crew. They're the same people restoring the Statue of Liberty.

I left England at the age of four when I found out I couldn't be king.

I went to play golf and tried to shoot my age, but I shot my weight instead.

I returned to Cleveland for a really big homecoming. I remember it well. How they welcomed me...flags waving, bands playing, big parades and everything. Yes sir! Lucky for me I arrived on Flag Day.

If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play it, it's recreation. If you work at it, it's golf.

It was so cold at Thule, that one G.I. fell out of bed and broke his pajamas.

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Kids are wonderful, but I like mine barbecued.

Middle age is when your age starts to show around your middle.

My father told me all about the birds and the bees, the liar - I went steady with a woodpecker till I was twenty-one.

My mother thought the doctor had left the stork and taken the baby.

My next door neighbor just had a pacemaker installed. They're still working the bugs out, though. Every time he makes love, my garage door opens.

(On receiving his knighthood) Seventy years of ad lib material and I am speechless.

People who throw kisses are hopelessly lazy.

Television. That's where movies go when they die.

The good news is that Jesus is coming back. The bad news is that he's really pissed off.

There are 86 golf courses in Palm Springs, and Jerry Ford never knows which one he's going to play until his second shot.

They'll always be an England, even if it's in Hollywood.

This is Bob Football Hope telling you always to use Pepsodent because it's better to set out for a nice run than to run out for a nice set.

(To President Kennedy when he was being presented with a gold medal for 'services to his country'. ) I feel very humble, but I think I have the strength of character to fight it.

Virus is a Latin word used by doctors to mean 'your guess is as good as mine.'

Wine, women and song have been replaced by prune juice, a heating pad and the Gong Show.

You know you're getting old when the candles cost more than the cake.

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Humorous Quotes attributed to Bob Hope1903-2003, American Actor, Comedian

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Humorous Quotes attributed to Bob Hope
1903-2003, American Actor, Comedian

Have you checked out
this super book?

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Have you checked out
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What's New ?!
Humorous Quotes
about Books / Reading
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