Quotes Index

“I came from a real tough neighborhood. Once a guy pulled a knife on me. I knew he wasn’t a professional, the knife had butter on it.”

This is a classic joke from the late comedian Rodney Dangerfield. It’s a clever play on words, with the punchline being that the knife had butter on it instead of being sharp. I think it’s a funny way to lighten the mood about a potentially scary situation.

“Ask me no questions, and I’ll tell you no lies.”

This line from Oliver Goldsmith is often used to indicate that someone is hiding something or being evasive. It’s a bit of a cautionary quote, reminding us that sometimes it’s better not to know the truth.

“I don’t make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts.”

This phrase from Will Rogers is a witty commentary on the state of politics. It suggests that the reality of government is so absurd that it’s hard to make up jokes that are any funnier than the truth. It’s a clever way of pointing out the problems with the system while still being entertaining.

“A pessimist is a person who has had to listen to too many optimists.”

This piece of words from Don Marqui is a clever inversion of the usual view that pessimists are negative people. It suggests that it’s actually the constant optimism of others that can be exhausting and demoralizing. I think it’s a smart observation about human nature.

“A committee is a group that keeps minutes and loses hours.”

I think this line from Milton Berle is a humorous take on the inefficiency of large groups. It suggests that the bureaucratic process of keeping records can be time-consuming and ultimately unproductive. I think it’s a funny way of pointing out a common problem in organizations.

“My opinions may have changed, but not the fact that I’m right.”

I believe this line from Ashleigh Brilliant is a bit of a tongue-in-cheek observation on the nature of truth. It suggests that the speaker is confident in their own convictions, even if they’re willing to change their mind about certain issues. It’s a clever way of poking fun at people who are overly dogmatic.