“If your parents never had children, chances are… neither will you,” 

Regarding Dick Cavett’s quote, I think it’s a humorous way of highlighting the importance of family and the influence that our upbringing can have on our future decisions.

“Everybody laughs the same in every language because laughter is a universal connection,” – Yakov Smirnoff’s

This somehow resonates with me because it reminds me that despite our differences in culture, language, and background, we can still find common ground in shared experiences and emotions.

“If the black box flight recorder is never damaged during a plane crash, why isn’t the whole airplane made out of that stuff?” – George Carlin’s 

I found this as a clever observation that highlights the absurdity of only implementing a solution after a problem has occurred. It also speaks to the need for proactive thinking and preventative measures.

“My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty. She’s ninety-seven now, and we don’t know where the hell she is,” – Ellen DeGeneres

It’s feels a lighthearted way of pointing out the benefits of staying active and healthy as we age. It also underscores the importance of maintaining a sense of humor as we grow older.

“A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don’t need it,” – Bob Hope

I think Bob is poking fun at the bureaucratic hoops that one has to jump through in order to obtain a loan. It’s a humorous commentary on the way that institutions often operate.

“My doctor gave me six months to live, but when I couldn’t pay the bill he gave me six months more,” – I Walter Matthau

This one is quite humorous. It speaks to the importance of healthcare access and the sometimes-absurd reality of the healthcare system.

“When you go into court you are putting your fate into the hands of twelve people who weren’t smart enough to get out of jury duty,” – Norm Crosby

I find this a little amusing. It highlights the idea that jury duty is often seen as a chore rather than a civic duty, and it pokes fun at the notion that those who serve on juries may not necessarily be the most qualified individuals.