Humorous Quotes attributed to Samuel Butler
1835-1902, English Author, Satirist & Philosopher

A hen is only an egg's way of making another egg. (Life and Habit)

All philosophies, if you ride them home, are nonsense; but some are greater nonsense than others. (The Notebooks of Samuel Butler)

Any fool can tell the truth, but it requires a man of some sense to know how to lie well. (The Notebooks of Samuel Butler)

From a worldly point of view, there is no mistake so great as that of being always right. (The Notebooks of Samuel Butler)

He has spent his life best who has enjoyed it most. God will take care that we do not enjoy it any more than is good for us. (The Way of All Flesh)

I do not mind lying, but I hate inaccuracy. (The Notebooks of Samuel Butler)

If life must not be taken too seriously -- then so neither must death. (The Notebooks of Samuel Butler)

If there are two worlds at all (and that there are I have no doubt) it stands to reason that we ought to make the best of both of them, and more particularly of the one with which we are most immediately concerned. It is as immoral to be too good as to be too anything else. (The Notebooks of Samuel Butler)

In New Zealand for a long time I had to do the washing-up after each meal. I used to do the knives first, for it might please God to take me before I came to the forks, and then what a sell it would have been to have done the forks rather than the knives! (The Notebooks of Samuel Butler)

It must be remembered that we have only heard one side of the case. God has written all the books. (The Notebooks of Samuel Butler)

If you follow reason far enough it always leads to conclusions that are contrary to reason.

Justice is my being allowed to do whatever I like. Injustice is whatever prevents my doing so.

They would have been equally horrified at hearing the Christian religion doubted, and at seeing it practiced. (The Way of All Flesh)

The advantage of doing one's praising for oneself is that one can lay it on so thick and exactly in the right places. (The Way of All Flesh)

The great pleasure of a dog is that you may make a fool of yourself with him and not only will he not scold you, but he will make a fool of himself too. (The Notebooks of Samuel Butler)

The most important service rendered by the press and the magazines is that of educating people to approach printed matter with distrust.

The one serious conviction that a man should have is that nothing is to be taken too seriously.

There is nothing which at once affects a man so much and so little as his own death. (The Notebooks of Samuel Butler)

What is faith but a kind of betting or speculation after all? It should be, ''I bet that my Redeemer liveth.''

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