Ambrose Bierce was an American journalist, short story writer, and satirist who lived from 1842 to around 1914. He is best known for his dark and cynical sense of humor. He has shared some quotes that made a mark to a lot of people.
ACADEMY: A modern school where football is taught.
I find this definition amusing, but obviously not accurate. An academy can refer to any institution of higher learning or a specialized school, not just one where football is taught.
ACQUAINTANCE: A person whom we know well enough to borrow from, but not well enough to lend to.
This definition is cynical, but there may be some truth to it. It’s important to be careful about who we lend money to and to be aware of the risks involved.
BORE: A person who talks when you wish him to listen.
I agree with this definition to some extent. It can be frustrating when someone dominates a conversation and doesn’t listen to others’ perspectives. However, it’s important to remember that everyone has something valuable to contribute to a conversation.
CONFIDANTE: One entrusted by A with the secrets of B confided to herself by C.
I think this definition is accurate. A confidante is someone who is trusted to keep secrets and offer support and guidance in confidence.
CONSERVATIVE: A statesman who is enamored of existing evils, as distinguished from the Liberal who wishes to replace them with others.
This definition is biased and overly simplistic. Conservatives and liberals have different political philosophies and beliefs, but it’s not fair to characterize one side as being in favor of “existing evils.”
DESTINY: A tyrant’s authority for crime and a fool’s excuse for failure.
This definition is cynical and dismissive. While it’s true that we can’t always control what happens to us, it’s important to take responsibility for our own actions and decisions.
EDIBLE: Good to eat, and wholesome to digest, as a worm to a toad, a toad to a snake, a snake to a pig, a pig to a man, and a man to a worm.
This definition is morbid and darkly humorous. While the idea of eating worms and toads might be repulsive to some, it’s important to remember that different cultures have different culinary traditions and that what’s considered “edible” can vary widely.